I go to Flora’s apartment to get my test results and find out about my personality. Perhaps this test will help me finally understand who I am. I’m anxious. The living room is small but homey. I sit down and look around. I see pictures of her three children when they were teens living in Conneticut. As I sink back into a large puffy pillow, I note the crafts and small paintings she had collected, momentos of family holidays. I pick up some stray shells resting on the wood floor and cradle them in my hand. Flora looks serious, seated in her long caftan and crocheed hat.
“Pinkslip, I have your test results.”
“My personality. Is it serious?”
“Do you ofter feel confused?” she asks thoughtfully.
“I mostly feel confused.”
“Yes. This accounts for it.” she shakes her head soulfully.
“Tell me,” I brace myself.
“PinkSlip, You are an INFP. Introvert. An idealist. Dreamer. People like you account for less than 1% of the population.
“World or U.S.?”
“Not sure.” She sighs heavily. Princess Diana was won. If you get on the wrong track, there’s no way out. Yes, highly sensitive. Moody. So was Audrey Hepburn and Richard Gere. She puts on her reading glasses and ruffles through some papers. Come to think of it, so was Albert Schweitzer.
“Oh, what exactly did he do?”
“Hmmm, I don’t know. But he was very giving.” She jumps up from her chair,A Ha! I recommend that you become an actress as a way to ha rness your creativity.”
“I think I already did that. As a child. And how would I earn a living?”
“I don’t like children.”
“Then walk a dog. Listen, how much time do we really have left? You don’t want to have any regrets?”
“I already have regrets. (Thinking about my investment in this session,)
“Oh nonsense. Think about Colonal Sanders . He started Kentucky Fried Chicken when he was 70.
“He was an actor.”